Workshop Leaders from Hell: Part 2 [INFOGRAPHIC]
Just when you thought it was safe to go to Digital Marketing Training again, we discovered that there are even more dodgy workshop leaders out there who will waste your precious budget. Not only that, they will probably teach you old-fashioned push marketing tactics, when everyone who’s anyone knows inbound is the way to go.
Not only does Inbound Marketing cost 62% less per lead than outbound, it improves your Google rankings organically; and 70% of the links that internet users click on are organic results. Add to that the fact that 20% of the 88 billion monthly searches on Google are for local businesses. You’d obviously be mad to carry on with outbound marketing.
If you insist on doing that though, you’ll more than likely come across these dubious training types.
He’d rather be in the army but failed the selection. So instead, he paintballs at the weekend and barks orders at frightened marketers during the week. He doesn’t actually know anything about Internet Marketing but he scared the training company into employing him. Woe betide you if you need to leave the room to go to the loo or dare to question him in anyway.
Top coping tip: take a white flag to wave at him and show you have surrendered. Then he’ll probably pick on someone else.
Now the sad thing about Brenda is, she probably does know what she’s talking about. But she’s scared of talking in front of people and, despite the fact that she’s practiced many times, she can’t get over it. Expect gasps, gibbering and a lot of flicking back and forth between her slides as the nerves take over and she loses her mind.
Top coping tip: Read Digital Marketing for Dummies so you can at least pretend to your boss that you learned something in the course.
He loves to roll out the sexual innuendos to the ladies in the class while totally ignoring, or being outright rude, to the men. Nothing will be learned as he turns even the most innocuous statements into a chance for lewdness and he probably doesn’t know anything about Digital Marketing Training anyway.
Top coping tip: Dish out the sexual innuendos right back at him; he’ll be so scared he might even concentrate on the course content.
Aah, she really is very lovely. So friendly and warm and welcoming. The only thing is that all she wants is for everyone to love her. So she won’t actually teach you anything as she’ll just agree with everything that anyone says.
Top coping tip: Tell her that you’ll love her even if she does disagree with something you say. It won’t make any difference; but Linda will feel loved and that’s very important.